How to uplevel your life when you feel like you shouldn’t

Do you feel bad about wanting better things in life or fear being labeled ‘materialistic’? Do you worry about people calling you shallow?

Sadly, women and girls get shamed into believing that it’s wrong to want more money or have nicer things. It’s been interesting to observe the conflict that occurs when women are trying to pursue the 6–figure income goal yet also feel bad for wanting it at the same time.

Today I’m going to share with you my perspective about having nice things, upleveling, and what to do when people don’t want you to.

My perspective, in a way, is slightly unique because of my upbringing in the Chinese culture.

Asians, as you know, are responsible for nearly half of the world’s luxury consumption. In fact, 2% of the Chinese are responsible for one–third of that consumption. Women in my culture were brought up to aspire to own the finest things in life. Having a closet full of Louis Vuitton (LV, to us) or Prada is on par for the average Chinese person, even for many minimum wage workers who will save every bit of money they can to buy the bag of their dreams.

And interestingly, kids in China don’t look up to celebrities like we do here in the U.S. Children aspire to be the next Warren Buffet or Bill Gates and other wealthy entrepreneurs. On one hand, materials and money have a very important place in our culture, because generations of Chinese people went without for a very long time. But on the other hand, we’re also shamed for our desires.

Before I had my spiritual transformation, I’d say I was a bit materialistic. Somewhat inconveniently, I happen to have an expensive appetite for European luxury goods. After my spiritual transformation, my desire for materials remained. In fact, learning the laws of the Universe and the energetic principles of abundance furthered my understanding of and gave me freedom around how to create more of it.

My opinion is that you don’t have to be one or the other — spiritualistic OR materialistic. You can be both.

Being materialistic means gaining pleasure from the experience of nicer things. Being spiritualistic means knowing not to equate luxury with love, respect, fulfillment or happiness. (Although I have to say, nice things do have the power to do all of that. 🙂 ) You just need to be able to distinguish the difference and stay grounded while in healthy pursuit of what you love and want.

So, not a material girl, but a spiritual–material girl. I’m down with that. Perhaps this is why I gravitate so much toward the spirituality of business or the business of spirituality. I think it’s healthy for everyone to have both and want both.

The point of all this is to tell you, if you’re feeling guilty about wanting more or even owning more, it’s okay. Don’t apologize for wanting more, because there’s nothing wrong with trying to achieve a better life for yourself. I know for a fact that’s precisely why I incarnated — where else will you get to experience materials and the pleasures of sight, sound, touch, taste and smell? I know that my angels can’t and I prefer to have a complete, 360 degree experience.

Because you’re in a body, and because you have a wonderful connection to the Source, you’re being given the opportunity to have the best of both worlds. It’s a unique position, and it’s a gift to be in this position, I tell ya!

Do you deserve it?

When people talk about having nicer things in life, the word ‘deserve’ comes up a lot. As in, “You deserve to treat yourself better. You deserve to make more money.”

I don’t really like that word ‘deserve’ because it carries with it a sense of entitlement or that you have to overcome someone else’s objections.

The better word, I feel, is to simply accept the fact you have material desires, and to allow yourself to have them and to allow others their right to an opinion.


I’m not immune from criticism and I don’t know if any of us are. When I started upleveling my wardrobe and accessories, it caused some really dark stuff to trigger within people I loved. It was difficult for her to see me have what she wants too, but believes she can’t have.

Because of that, she’s made some comments to me about being more humble and to stop being so showy. That limitation didn’t resonate with me and although I didn’t think I would ever entertain that notion, I began to notice how I would dress down in her presence. If you’re not aware, it can seep into your behavior.

Chances are, you’ve experienced similar reactions or fear those types of reactions, and that’s okay. Feel blessed that you have the ability to manifest what you want and feel blissed for having the inner security to own your desires. Because if you don’t do what you want, no one’s gonna do it for you. If not you, then who?

What to do

If you are trying to uplevel your life but find yourself really inhibited about it, start by upleveling the experience, not necessarily the dollar amount.

Begin with the small stuff. For example, you can begin by buying higher quality groceries that aren’t big purchase items, but are really direct ways you can start treating yourself to a nicer culinary experience. Belgian chocolate or prime grade beef, for example, comes to mind. Yum!

Another way to uplevel in small ways is to buy fewer items, but buy higher quality. For example, instead of buying a room full of inexpensive furniture, buy something higher quality, but fewer pieces that will last longer. Same principle with clothing, jewelry and handbags. Buy fewer items, but higher quality. That’s another way to spend about the same amount but to increase the quality of the experience.

You can also start valet parking every time you go out to eat or shop. That’s another inexpensive way to uplevel and also increase the pleasure of your experience — who doesn’t want to eat and shop stress–free and not worry about parking?

When you travel or go out to eat, you can also start tipping people more. By increasing the amount of money you pay to those who serve you, you will feel great and ensure a higher quality, more personable experience for yourself. It’s a fantastic feeling to walk into restaurants where people know your name.

Pretty soon, you’ll come to equate higher prices with higher quality, higher pleasure, more comfort, or more convenience, which is almost always the truth in the world. These experiences will start to feel so enjoyable to you that you won’t have time to feel guilty and you’ll come to understand that sometimes, it doesn’t make any sense to down level.

Uplevel in whatever way you want, but do it for your own reasons. You don’t have to uplevel because abundance teachings say that you should. And also, you must not down level to make others feel less threatened. Find your own territory and if you feel like taking things up a notch, do it, and do it responsibly.

Your financial energy

If you feel guilty around having nice stuff or disown the nice things you’ve got, it’s really because you cannot hold the energy of that nicer thing.

Years ago, I was given a Mont Blanc as a gift and I was told to sell more and sign every contract with that pen. Although I didn’t understand it at the time, I couldn’t hold the energy of that pen and the luxury status that came with it. And so I gave the pen away.

As it turns out, the person I gave the pen to also couldn’t hold its energy and gave the Mont Blanc away a second time. And that person also couldn’t hold its energy and gave the pen away one last time — back to me.

That poor pen! It took 4 years for the Mont Blanc to make its way back to me. When it did, I understood it to be a sign of my energetic expansion and how the finer things in life all carry a higher vibration that people have to feel comfortable holding. I now cherish it not only because of the status symbol, but also because of the spiritual symbol.

What if no one is onboard?

When you want to uplevel, people around you (your spouse, significant other, friends, family) might not believe in the spirit of abundance.

But here’s the thing: you don’t need to convince anyone that you’re right and they’re wrong. You simply need to stand in the truth of what you have faith in (the laws of the Universe) and if that person is a huge part of your day–to–day life, create space for that person to come in, and create space to include where that person is right now. Hold that space and conceive the reality that you say you can create.

In other words, do your thang and let your results speak for themselves.

And finally

It takes the same amount of inner authority to stop pleasing others as it does to start displeasing others. Not on purpose, of course.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been criticized for having what I have. You know, the fact that I own a decent amount of kitchen utensils has offended someone. The fact that I always take the cab instead of the subway has gotten someone to sneer in disapproval. There’s more, but basically, I’ve heard it all.

Do it or don’t do it — you can’t avoid people’s comments nor avoid people. Just bless them, forgive them, and move on. This is your life and you get to fill this space with whatever you want.

Consider this life to be a gift! Who knows how many souls there are in the Universe, and how many Universes there are beyond this one. You’re one of the very, very few who have the opportunity right now to plant your feet on Earth and experience having stuff at all. This life is a gift! Live it!

Hi, I’m Ana Coeur

I teach entrepreneurs how to create their business straight from their soul. I offer a complete Intuitive Business Suite to help you create, design, write and sell all from your intuition. Here’s the services you can take advantage of to empower your business: Intuitive Web & Brand Design, Intuitive Copywriting and Intuitive Selling. If there’s anything I can help you with, I would love to hear about it! You may email me at

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1 Comment
  • January 17, 2014

    I see this sort of thing a lot – more so the critique of this mentality versus the mentality itself. And it’s interesting to me because I’ve never felt that as a spiritual person I wasn’t allowed to have material objects or wealth. It never occurred to me to shun materialism (and I actually don’t use the word vain or vanity in conversations I have with people). It just doesn’t make sense to me.

    Maybe because I have Pluto in Scorpio of my 2nd house, and Pluto/Hades is the richest God because everything goes to him when you die (ie: Pharaohs who locked all their stuff away with them, thinking they’ll have it in the afterlife. Or the adage – “you can’t take it with you when you die”).

    For me, I’ve always associated financial abundance with skill set and luck (ie: being born into a family with great financial literacy, an educated family, a family that valued certain things over others) coupled with some other uncontrollable aspects like personality (ie: being born “a leader” or someone who always knew how to make money, etc). I seemed to lack the karmic combinations necessary to achieve any kind of wealth and my family always provided me with money when I needed it because I never seemed to have any of it.

    But I think also, I’m not attached to status symbols. Someone who I know took a picture of a Hermes bag and she said someone chastised her for posting a picture of it online. When I saw the picture, I just thought it was a nice bag with a cat in it! I didn’t know Hermes was a fancy brand! I just don’t see luxury items as having any intrinsic value – though, I DO love the idea of staying in a lovely hotel or being able to fly first class! (Which I guess are more luxury experiences vs items).

    (I also hate celebrity culture, and wish I knew less and less about pop culture every day. See also: Aquarian Sun/Moon).

    As always – great post! 😀

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