Why it’s impossible to plan on the path of ascension
My days now are filled with things that I can’t possibly plan. That wasn’t how my ‘normal’ used to be. My old ‘normal’ was all about planning—down to the day and hour like many others. My sense of accomplishment came from checking things off of a to–do list. Not only did I plan my time, but I planned my businesses as well.
Since I was in my teens, I had loved writing lengthy business plans for just seeds of ideas and I would create these really dazzling hierarchical organizational charts detailing how I would have my business empires—all the divisions and departments there will be and all the sources of revenue that I would create. I’ve kept all of these—they are museum pieces now to my very prolific and creative 20’s.
But life is completely different now. I met my Twin Flame in 2015 and suffice it to say, my world turned upside down. I myself turned upside down, or rather, inside out. Before, I had my mind so set on conquering the world through business. I wanted to be even more masculine than the masculines. It meant that I had to be very ambitious and aggressive about my plans and I had to control life according to what I thought would make me successful. Gloriously successful. That was where all the planning came in.
I thought I was planning, but I think what I was actually doing was trying to control life and trying to control what would show up for me. In my writings, I “planned” for businesses to grow by X rate and “planned” to make a certain amount of money or attain a certain number of clients within X years. Of course, nothing I planned ever happened—at least not in that way and certainly not within my timeframe. Re–reading everything that I had written—even as recent as last year—makes me laugh and cringe at the same time because all of those were created from an outdated consciousness very much attached to material success and avoiding shame.
Going through spiritual ascension means all planning goes out the door. I find that I softly carry a big picture vision and overall intentions (what I call soul vows—more on that later) but rarely am I able to sit down and write out the plan for how to get there. After all, if my intention is to “activate my powers of instant manifestation”, exactly how do you plan for that? How do you create a roadmap for a location with no exact coordinates?
Editorial calendars, social media calendars and the like go out the door with it. I don’t know anymore how to stick to a creative schedule because creativity, for me at least, doesn’t happen on a specific timetable. When I am using my mind or my willpower, I can surely get things done. But when I am co–creating with my Higher Self or with the universe, inspiration and divine downloads happen on their own timing and is not something that I can pencil in advance.
Why it doesn’t work anymore
For one, the right energies have to be in place. Healing and meditation helps to clear our energy and prepare us to contain more light and light codes, which translate into physical actions and ideas if that is how they are meant to be expressed. But our systems have to be prepared before we are given certain divine responsibilities. It’s not based on our worthiness but based on how much energy we are able to carry within us. The universe will never overload us with divine tasks before we are energetically ready to handle them. It is why our businesses will only grow as big as the amount of energy we are able to handle.
And not only that, we can’t plan for when those energies come in. I can try as hard to pencil myself in for some sketching on say, Saturday at 2pm, or even go to an art class. I will be all excited on Friday night, so ready to leap out of bed to pour my creative chakras onto paper. But when Saturday morning rolls around, my body or energy system will decide for me that today is not the day to be sketching nor going to any art class. My body will be tired, my head will be foggy, and all I want to do is sleep. Anger could be coming up for healing or maybe I try to sit down and draw and zero ideas come in. This is why it’s impossible to plan on the path of spiritual ascension. You never know what the day will be like. The plan is, I will sketch when my energy wants to sketch. Not when I, my mind, says so.
Vision boarding is also really difficult when the vision comes only from the ego or mind. On the path of spiritual ascension, I find that my vision for my life constantly changes. Nothing is set in stone and each healing or kundalini yoga session that I complete changes who I am on the energetic and cellular level. It’s impossible to freeze into place what I want because I am not the same person as I was even five minutes ago. It makes it incredibly hard to write articles like this too, because I know that an hour after I hit publish, this writing will have already feel outdated to me.
As for bullet journaling, I started! But only to write down the one or two things I want to get done for that day. No huge planning goes into it simply because there is no time to record anything on the path of spiritual ascension. The mind and the soul doesn’t sit still long enough to be able to write anything down. I used to spend all this time journaling my every thought, but now I find it to be difficult as well. It’s like trying to photograph wind. I can’t write fast enough to record the speed of the energy coming through me. I’m trying so hard right now for my words to not trip over each other! On the path of ascension, we are changing so quickly energetically and on the cellular level that there is just no time to journal at length. The mind will love the level of organization and the eyes will love the cute doodles, but the soul is already onto the next thing. Life in the 5D happens way too fast.
What I do
If I don’t plan, don’t vision board and don’t bullet journal too religiously or too much, then what do I do? I write out intentions and soul vows every time I feel my energy has shifted enough for new goals to come through. Sometimes it could be once a month, sometimes it could be once every 3 months. I don’t put a timetable on it because miracles and inner shifts don’t happen according to dates and clocks.
I love lists so I make lists of my general intentions for health, career/finances, healing, ideas I would like to experiment with, etc.
Next, I make a list of things I would like to release from my experience, such as things like gossiping, or feeling guilt over spending money, or prolonged sitting, or not feeling safe in certain situations.
Then, I converse with my Higher Self/Divine Feminine and ask her to chime in with messages she wants me to know for this incoming cycle. In the past, she has told me to:
• Feel more than think
• Sleep more
• Live as if I am already ‘there’
• Keep my inner and outer environments pure and high vibe
After that, I make a list of feelings that I am choosing to feel this month. In the past, I have written things like: powerful, focused, eternal, flying, altruistic, light, supported, peaceful, loved.
Finally, I make a list of what I am giving to myself this month, such as:
• Space and nourishment to change, heal, ‘die’ and be reborn
• Space to just be—not having to do, nor create, generate nor manifest
• Opening my heart to what could be the highest potential of my life
• More baths in white light
• A new piece of jewelry
• The best food
• Compassion and patience for trying so many new things for the first time
• Quality time and quality space
• Acknowledgement for how far I’ve already come
Do you see how much more self–loving, supportive and gentle this is compared to looking at a board of things you want but you don’t have yet, and a list nagging at you to do this, do that?
Your body being your guide
With this as my guide, I feel free to create, generate and manifest on my own divine time, not according to the calendar, the clock, competition, keeping up with others, or shame. I exercise when my body says to, not because it’s on my list. It’s about letting the Higher Self, the body and the heart guide us because they really do know highest. I don’t consult a to–do list on how to spend my time and days. I consult my body. I say to her throughout the day, “I now surrender to the wisdom of my body” and then see what she asks me to do next or what to eat next. Often times, she tells me lie down or to take a nap. If I have the spiritual integrity to ask, then I have the spiritual integrity to listen and act on what she says.
If I had to consciously choose to live my life this way, I would probably be too afraid to let go of control. Instead, the Twin Flame journey forced me to live life this way, as well as my body telling me I had to do so. Through spiritual ascension, I realized how sensitive my energy system is and not only have I had to let go of the old systems I used to design my life, I had to distance myself from people who were opposed to going with the flow, too. I’m not able to engage in conversations anymore about restricting diets, counting calories, or putting myself under a deadline to make a certain amount of money by X date, or cross a major life milestone by X age. The energy feels so controlling and unloving and it leaves no room for the divine or for magic.
We are now in the Age of Miracles and Age of Instant Manifestation. Dare I say, planning is becoming irrelevant and a form of outdated consciousness. I desire to live a very magical life, and I have come to see that this is the way—through the Divine Feminine, through the conscious unplanning but the unconscious planning. Living life from the Higher Self makes utter sense to me. Her will be done and the Divine’s will be done. There is no way for me to pinpoint that on a calendar and I won’t even try. Rather, I open up myself, my life and my energy to receive all the miracles, abundance, opportunities, love, guidance, compassion and light available to me now, so that I may express my highest potential in this moment, whatever that may be, however that may be. I wish that for you, too.